October 5, 2011 § 14 Comments
Last week I attended a wonderful workshop, Private Pictures, hosted by the lovely Sarah Berry of Fannies Rule at Sacred Pleasures in Hackney, a great sex positive space. I have attended Sarah’s monthly meeting, Fannying Around at Sh Women Store, and was very fascinated by the Private Pictures class. This is an intimate, creative workshop where ladies sketch, paint, scribble their interpretations of their pussy!
On the evening I attended there were seven gorgeous cunts in attendance, including our fearless leader Sarah, and we were all different ages, sizes and flavors. I ran into erotic author, Annie Player, on the doorstep and we were greeted by London Faerie, practitioner and facilitator of Sacred Pleasures. After a lovely warm hug he ushered us into our artistic space where Sarah was busy setting up nibbles, wine, tea and art supplies. The room was warm and not too bright and it was wonderful to sink into one of the cushy sofas after a long day. One by one the other lovely ladies arrived and a lot of us were saying how luxurious it was to disconnect from work, to unwind for a while. Each with a drink in hand and well on our way to being unwound it was time to begin, so we made our way to a circle of crimson cushions.
Sarah started us off with a little introduction of her self, in her words…
I first came up with the idea for the group when I was a teenager. I couldn’t have sex, I didn’t know why but I dreamed of a place I could talk freely about my problem.
Every time I tried to insert anything into my fanny be it a finger, tampon, cock or courgette, I started to panic. I couldn’t tell anyone and suffering in silence led to clinical depression.
When I was 21, my then boyfriend marched me to the Family Planning Clinic. Not long after I got diagnosed with vaginismus. This is a condition where the brain tells the pelvic muscles to contract when anything is inserted.
A little bit more about vaginismus…
Vaginismus, sometimes anglicized vaginism is the German name for a condition which affects a woman’s ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, insertion of tampons, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations. This is the result of a reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle, which is sometimes referred to as the “PC muscle”. The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual intercourse—painful or impossible.
A woman suffering from vaginismus does not consciously control the spasm. The vaginismic reflex can be compared to the response of the eye shutting when an object comes towards it. The severity of vaginismus and the pain during penetration, including sexual penetration, varies from woman to woman.
In Sarah’s journey to heal and understand she met a lot of people who just told her to relax, have a bath, etc but along the way she met some wonderful folks who helped her to embrace her fanny and one suggested capturing herself in art… And Private Pictures was born!
We each took turns talking about our fanny/cunt/yoni, how she was doing and what we expected from the class; we were all there for different reasons but all very excited! So after introductions we settled down in our own art space. There were stand alone mirrors to capture our bits and lots of different art materials; I grabbed a canvas, some acrylics, some water colours and a few pastels, hoping to make more than one pussy portrait.
I felt so blissed to be in this environment for a number of reasons… I love women, I love sharing with women, I love talking about sexuality, like Sarah I didn’t really have places where I could talk about sex and my sex growing up, so now I feel exhilarated by the freedom. I am a reformed self hater in many ways, including my feelings about my cunt…
So I settled in with my materials, my mirror, wine and was ready to take a long look at myself in the mirror. When I first started my sexual healing, I was encouraged in Betty’s Dodson ‘Sex For One’ to use a mirror to explore, related and connect with my vulva. I am comfortable doing this but hadn’t for whatever reason done it in while and I was surprised by what I saw:
My Cunt Has Blossomed!
I’ve always had one larger inner labia that sticks out from between my outer lips. Well, it developed in puberty and I was absolutely ashamed, I hated it and I remember telling my at the time boyfriend how sorry I was, how I was going to get it cut off one day. I didn’t know the word labiaplasty, I just knew I was deformed, disgusting and totally unsexy. Thankfully these feelings are long gone as I now know that fannies come in manyyy incredible shapes and sizes. So to look at my wiser, happier today cunt and to see that she is not only content but blossoming, I was a bit in awe. So my larger inner lip remains (I think it looks like a cute tongue, with my new pubic hair my pussy looks like a puppy to me *squeee!*) but I also noticed some of my other inner lip frilling and protruding in a way it hadn’t before, my outer lips fuller, more relaxed. I took in the shadows of my pubes, the crevices of my lips, the wetness dotted here and there and the technicolor of my feminine flesh.
I few tears pricked my eyes as I remembered the hate, the anger and the sadness I used to hold towards and in my pussy. Part of me wished I could come right there to say ‘Thank You’ to this energy that stuck with me through the dark times. Instead I painted for swirling private pictures, each a different side of my cunt’s personality…
The room was relaxed as we chatted and created our art work, I think I expected more silence but was so comfortable sharing with these women, so happy we were all open and feeling happily connected. There was so much laughter, it really was a scared space.
At the end of the session we came together to share our private pictures and I was blown away by everyone’s beautiful work. We each had made several portraits and each one showed a different side to each woman. Swirling blue and cherise pubic hair, lips like shells, doors and flowers, clits that were star shaped, hidden or in purple – it was a cunt love smörgåsbord. Like me there were women who focused on capturing parts of themselves they have not or did not like, scars, hairs, shapes that make us unique. I could tell I was not the only one who felt moved by her fanny and this wonderful experience.
I tucked away my pussy portraits, gingerly wrapping them and very excited to share! I had to scoop up Miss Berry in the biggest hug I could manage and I thanked her for the evening and not just for me but for all the women she is going to help with fanny healing, liberating and loving with this amazing workshop.
Thank You Sarah Berry
For future workshops and more details about her monthly meeting Fannying Around, please visit her site FanniesRule.com