July 23, 2012 § 4 Comments
Well I Sure Have Missed You!
Sooo I’ve Been Away And I’ve Been Reflecting & Rediscovering
And I Have Made The Decision
For My Own Safety & Security
NOT To Address The Events Of The Last Six-ish Weeks Online
There’s No Shame Here, All Strength
I’m Happy To Discuss Things In Person, Should You See Me At An Event
But I Will Not Be Saying Anything More On That Time Now
I’m Feeling Much Better
I’m Feeling Much Stronger
I’m Feeling More Myself Again
You Can See It In My Eyes
Back In The Room
So I’m Moving Onwards
I’m Moving Forward
With Love & Light
I’m Also Moving Backward
To Routines & Rituals Which Have Served Me
Kept Me Clean & Clear
Held Me In Love & Light
I Love Yogaaa
I Miss It
I Miss Dancing Too
So We Will Reunite
In A Romantic Embrace Once More…
Yoga has been in my life, in someway or another for most of my twenty-seven years. One of my most cherished possessions is a photo album of my Mom doing various poses; snapped when she was about my age to audition for her own TV show, in a long sleeved leotard with a long braid down her back. She’s not smiling but she looks strong and radiant in front of a bare, yellowish wall. I remember studying this album as a child, flipping through the pages, bending into poses, wanting to understand what these positions were all about. I’ve dabbled in different disciplines, had many different teachers and come to understand yoga most through my private practice.
For me, the practice creates a harmonious balance between my mind, body and heart that few forms of meditation give me; I think dancing is the only other place where I find this perfect channel. I’m tickled by the knock-on effect of yoga, the steady sense of humour it has. I practice and I find strength in my body and note strengthening in my convictions, I keep smiling through difficult poses and I see harmony in my temperance in the world, I adore the perspective I receive on life in both downward dog and camel pose; it has led me to believe that as in yoga practice, in life. I’m sure many people teach this but this is what I have understood, have been informed through my own work.
This belief always speaks to me loud and clear in Bikram (yoga done in veryyy hot spaces, one hundred degrees and higher) as it would seem the extreme external conditions could easily represent the daily challenges we face in maintaining balance, positive perspective and patience. The last few Bikram classes I did, I practiced with a smile on my face – the whole class, smiling, grinning, laughing, just absolutely loving my body, it’s wonderous makeup and the bliss I felt, gained, through the understanding of positive approach and attitude, no matter the external schtufff. Here you also see the other side, people berating themselves for not holding a pose, pushing too hard to compete with the person next to them, practices breakdown as the practitioner succumbs to the outside elements but especially the inner imbalance. It makes the class harder, tougher when you let the ego practice instead of you. As in yoga practice, as in life.
Yoga Is A Best Friend Reunited
BFFs We Are!
And I Love The Loyalty Of Our Friendship
And I Adore The Possibilities Of Our Relationship
And I Honour The Practice
By Coming To It With As Little Ego As I Can
By Working In Joy
By Being Open To Our Experience Together
I’m Going To Start A Little Photo Series On The Blog
A Way I Can Log My Practice!
The Above Photo Is Of Me In Tree Pose
One Of My Absolute Favourite Poses
I Often Take This Position On The Tube
Helps Me Feel Present On London’s Frantic Underground
If You Are Looking For Some Free, All Levels Classes
I Highly Recommend www.yogamazing.com Presented By Chaz Rough
You Can Also Find Him, And His Free Video Tutorials, On iTunes
He’s Funny, Dynamic & Generous With His Class And Students
Do Check Him Out!
Until Next Time…
Love Lust & Light
January 4, 2012 § 4 Comments
Happy New Year Loversss!
We’re here, we made it and, hopefully, we’re excited or, at least, optimistic. I had an absoluuutely mental December of mostly working but also traveling, a few great performances and some intense heart and soul stuff. I know you understand but I always miss you and my blog when I’m away…
One of my December highlights was performing at the amazing sexy arty party Kinky Salon London! Run by an incredible team, it’s always an interesting night out and I had the pleasure of performing for some witty and wicked people. I did my ‘I Wannna B’ act but decided to shake things up a bit and take advantage of the venue’s full nudity license – I kept my bum charm and gave them the NYC Style full monty! I had a great time; I love my body and being naked and if people cheer at the end, it’s a delicious bonus. I had a wonderful evening, as there were so many lovely people I knew that I got to chat up with and so many new friendly people to meet – also my Dark Horse was looking very yummy on my arm. Many thanks to all involved!
So I’ve still got some more writing to do about 2011, I got a bit burnt out by…I dunno…October? It was just such a massive year and it kept going till the last minute, didn’t it!? Jeeez! But I’m gunna take this time to look ahead and just brainstorm some things I’d like to write about in 2012…
How To Get Over A Lover Break Up
How To Get Over A Friendship Break Up
My Feminist Manifesto
The Tantra Of Rubyyy Jones
Butt Love: The Freedom Of Anal Sex
Finding Your Glamour
The Crown Of Love
I Hate The Word ‘Chubby’
I Hate The Term ‘Vanilla’
10 Ways To Stay In The Light
Cultivating A Healthy Fantasy Life
Pleasure Portals Workshop Review
My Safe Sex Guide
What Is Energy?
Manifesting And You
Why Three ‘Ys’ Rubyyy Jones?
My Guide To Being A Showgirl
I Get Pussy Plastered
10 Things To Do In London
Save Rubyyy Jones Update
The Girl Who Broke My Heart
Sensual Vs Sexual
Sex At All Ages!
Introduction To The Chakras!
MORE Sex Superheroes!
MORE Burlesque Show Gossip!
MORE Book Reviews!
. . .
BRING IT ON 2012
Love Lust & Light
June 24, 2011 § 1 Comment
What A… What A Weeek…
I’m feeling and thinking a lot of things lately and, as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’m finding it tricky to allow myself the space to write and express my feelings and thoughts because they are changing so quickly…and frankly because anyone I write about/mention directly or indirectly, I don’t like the idea of them attaching too much to any singular expression. I write in the moment, I’m getting better at living that way too. Basicallyyy, I annoyed, hurt and alarmed peoples I care about with my last blog. I used a charged moment and selfishly chose to write ‘whatever the fuck I want’. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s my blog and I willl write whatever the fuck I want, but I want to be a graceful and a fair communicator and I could’ve done better.
I want to take this time to write a little letter…
. . .
I wanted to take a moment to write to you, I hope you will read this.
I want to ask for your forgiveness for my behavior last week.
We’ve been friends for awhile now, and it’s been a challenging task to get to know you on a new level.
It’s never been easy between us, but I like to think we’ve always had respect for each other and we’ve always made it work, in a space where we both felt safe and heard. Which is why I feel so badly, for denying you that respect, for layering on to you all the dysfunction of bad communication, sensitive hearts and too soon. So much of what I’ve been unhappy with lately wasn’t brought on by you, it was simply highlighted by you and I know the weight of that role in life.
You’ve brought me so many wonderful people and experiences, thank you. I’ve been dealing with a heart heavy week and being with lovers Hamilton and BBB reminds me just how beautiful you are. They’re both treasures in my life and they’re in my life because of you. I want us to be closer, as lovers or friends we’ll just wait and see; lets continue to give each other the tenderness and sweetness we both deserve.
Thank you for your patience and gentle generosity. I can’t express just how much that has taught me, how much it means to me.
Love & Light
. . .
And Thank You To You Too Lovers
You Are A True Blessing
Love Lust & Light
May 29, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Hoping You Are Well & Wonder-Full Today
After having a bit of a rough day yesterday, I’m feeling hopeful and fragile today, as if I’ve just been soaked and scrubbed by 3 large Turkish women in a bath and spun out into the street. A bit of a Bambi-heart, wobbly with the first steps, but again, moving forward. I’m very lucky. I’m very blesssed.
I was introduced to Marianne Williamson back in college by an incredible teacher; he gave us the extended version of the speech below, on a piece of A4 paper. It was our final year of school and it was our first big theatre production of the year. Still sorta bright eyed and bushy-tailed. I hung this speech next to my light switch, so I would see it every morning and every night. It was also around the time I was introduced to Louise L Hay, and this was a big turning point for me, emotionally and spiritually. I’m still learning how to separate my different voices. My head, my heart, my gut.
Though this speech is often attributed to Nelson Mandela; it and Marrianne’s book ‘A Course In Miracles’ are invaluable bunches of wordy light…
. . .
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~ Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love: Reflections On T Principles OfA Course In Miracles
. . .
Holding you in my heart today
Thank you for all the love and light
Love Lust & Light
May 24, 2011 § 3 Comments
I’m Officially Starting A Little Detox Today!
I will be cutting a few things from my diet (temporarily but reducing generally) and I recently began an unofficial cock detox, which can officially begin today.
The Cock Detox sortaaa began several months ago with a bit of heartache. I was really missing Samurai and wasn’t in the place to be meeting or exploring anyone. I wanted time with myself to focus on me, my career life, to heal, etc. I have several times taken extended leaves from cock, the longest being 18 months, and I always find it very grounding and centering for me. I definitely take time during these periods to actively reconnect with myself sexually/emotionally to digest what I’ve learned/experienced. A couple of weeks ago, I met Flynt and we began seeing and fucking each other but since our sex isn’t ‘cock-centric’ the detox continues. I’m honored to be seeing a beautiful woman, who I have yet to name, but will be introducing soon and unless she’s hiding something very well, I’m pretty sure our sex won’t involve cock either. *giggle*
Last week I was in my room packing, contemplating my detox and thinking of Flynt. Yes. I’m crazy about him. Get used to it. I was thinking a lot of things at once about both of these elements of my life and I was struggling to sort through everything coming up. When I am trying to get to the bottom of my feelings I use a little technique; I’m sure this is some psychologists patented therapy or something, but as far as I know, it’s my way of helping myself.
I sit by myself and I imagine a scene, a dinner party maybe, cocktails and smoke, something intimate and occupied by the people I trust. I imagine 4 or 5 friends whom I feel comfortable sharing my feeling and thoughts with and I talk to them, I tell them what’s going on in my life and, like you would with friends over drinks, I don’t dive right to the heart of the matter but I always get to it…
I was saying how much I cared for Flynt, talking about him, the way he is, how the sex was lovely and blowing my mind and so on and so forth. Then quite suddenly I found myself crying, and saying to my invisible friends: how wonderful it was to be intimate with a man, to come and cuddle and fuck and not have to think about his cock. To not have to think about it or worry about it or where it’s going or what it’s doing or what it might do to me or how it might be used against me or why, how it was a relief, after too many instances of boys and monsters, to be with a man.
I broke out of my scene for a moment to consider my revelations. Even though I love men deeply and adore cock, I am holding a lot of fear. Some of my experiences are etched more deeply than others, and l was already aware of this; I was aware of some of the hurt and some of the fear but was surprised by my flowing tears and the frantic sadness I felt finally voicing my fears. I felt freed by this new awareness, though a bit exposed and thin. I had a little cry, continued packing and felt thankful knowing I would be with Flynt in a few hours. I always feel stronger with knowledge and self is one of the most powerful things I think you can ‘know’. After cuddles and chat I knew I would feel full and centered again. I did and I do.
And so, the detox continues. For how long, I do not know. It will be back in my life when I am ready. I’m also cutting sugar, reducing other meats (HA!) alcohol and wheat. I haven’t decided how long on that those either. At least 2 weeks! I’ll let you know how it’s going…
. . .
A Piece By My Stormy Artist
Having An Artist Is One Of T Greatest Blessings N My Life
I will be doing a big post soon but I wanted to mention: Rubyyy will be performing in the new burlesque spectacular ‘BURLEXE’. They are doing several shows and I am honored to be performing in the final event on June 29th. You can contact me directly for tickets ( rubyyyjones AT Gmail Dot Com) with a little Love, Lust & Light discount! Here is a listing for all the events and the burlesque girls who will be performing, it’s sure to be a sensational night! More on that soon…
Love Lust & Light
May 12, 2011 § Leave a Comment
*Deep Breath N*
So Many Wonderful Things N My Life
Moving Forward, Growing & Just Around T Corner
And Since This Is Always T Case
That Life Is Moving Forward, Expanding, Etc
Why Is It, That T Joys & Rhythms Of Life
Are All T More Obvious & Easy When You’re Gettin Fucked?
Now, You All Know I’m Self Love All T Way
But There Is T Difference Of Touch, Of Eye Contact, Of Exchange
That Makes Sex W Another Person So, Frankly, Vital To Mental & Emotional Health
I’m Not T Same Rubyyy Without Orgasms Or Cuddles Or Whispers W A Lover
I’m A Very Happy Rubyyy Without
But There Is A Part Of Me That’s Just Not Settled Without Anothers Touch
Without Sweetness From Some Sweetheart
Without T Joy Of Giving Over All T Love Lust & Light N Myself
I Was Made To Love
I Was Made To Fuck
I Was Made To Rejoice
(And Perform And Write And Heal)
Of Course, An Orgasm A Day Keeps T Dr Away
But I Reckon Some Serious Making Out
Would Keep That Dr At Bay Too
One More Time!
*Deep Breath N*
Love Lust & Light
P.S. If you’re in Londontown, come see me read some of my erotica and perform my Erotic Award nominated routine ‘I Wannna B!’ at T Velvet Tongue Click for detailsss!
April 16, 2011 § Leave a Comment
So I Met A Witch This Week
Wild Eyes & Squeaky Voiced
Her Gaze Unsettled Me At First
Intense Behind A Curtain Of Raven Hair
She Is Magical
T Energy Around Her Light But Dark At T Same Time
She Walks T Line & You Can Feel It Around Her
As If One Step Closer To Her & You Might Pop Into Another Dimension
But She Seems Content There
And I Feel A Kindred Spirit
Maybe A Teacher Or An Intro To One
I Want To Walk T Line
Stay On T Edge
Walk To My Boundary & Strut
Speakkking Of Strutting
1 Visiting From Lisbon
1 Rocking My World On Ru Paul’s Drag Race
I’ve Met This Witch & To Me It’s T Sign Of Another Journey
When I Was 12, 13, 14
Whenever T Craft Came Out
Like Every Other 90′s Teenager
Me & My GFs Got Into T Witch Thinggg
We Got Innnto It
We Had A Little Club
5 Of Us, Each Having An Element
A Chocolate (I Think?)
And Other Hilarious Healthy Teenage Girl Things
I Loved The Ritual, T Learning
T Connection W Nature
I Miss T Sisterhood
My Sisterhood Has Suffered Recently
Had A Little Breakup That’s Left Me Vulnerable
Vulnerable Cause I Feel Hurt & Confused & Over It
Proud Because I’m Not Slipping Into Old Mind Games
Of Worry And Doubt And Punishment
For Someone Else’s Issues That Have Nothing To Do W Moi
I Am Awesome & On T Right Track
I Am Calling For New Sisters
I Trust N T Universe
I Really Do
. . .
Love Lust & Light
February 11, 2011 § 1 Comment
Hope you have had a wonderful weeek! I have surely had a powerful one
Lots of endings & beginnings & rememberings of…
♥ ♥ ♥
One of my main focuses in 2011 has been health
Now some of this has been my own choice: goals I have, states of being I would prefer to be in
Some of my health focus has shifted simply because my body broke down
Now one of my recurring health issues is with yeast/fungus infections
Sooo hot I know *gigggle*
I first started dealing with Candida back in 2005
For those not familiar, follow the link but in brief: it’s a yeast infection in your tummy which feeds and sends yeast/fungus throughout your whole body, all systems go
Now it’s a tricky one! With over 200 symptoms it is probably one of the most misdiagnosed diseases
Some of my symptoms include: Yeast infection
Craving sweets & carbs
Irregular bowel moments
Also tricky to diagnose as doctors aren’t so up on the disease
BUT, if you wish, you can do this lil (long) online quiz to self diagnose
It would be my guess that at least 70% of people in developed nations have some form of Candida
In the UK and North America, I would guess of those 70% (probably much more in these countries) at least 50% have chronic Candida
It’s sort of an all or nothing disease to begin with
Yeast lives off of sugar, creating a low acid level in the intestinal tract, permeating your intestinal wall, then moving into your blood stream
So the only way to get this yeast out of your system is to starve it out
No sugar, no wheat, no alcohol…
Here is a To Eat list and a Do Not Eat list
♥ ♥ ♥
So why am I dealing with this now since being aware of the problem since 2005?
Well friends, it’s a combination of things but it all boils down to me not being mindful enough of my own health
Not putting the value of my personal health high enough on my priority list
We’re all guilty of this in different areas of our life, not putting ourselves, our best interest first
I’ve always sort of dabbled in these healthy ways, a couple months on, a couple months off, sound familiar?
Now ask me if I regret the croissant and red wine in Paris
Or the pasta and pizza in Rome
Or the countless cups of coffee and flutes of champagne in London…
Not for a second!
But if I want to continue to enjoy those things from time to time
I want to be around and kicking high!
So coinciding with the ‘elimination’ diet
I’ve also added a few little things that I find work for me (I am not a health professional, all my knowledge comes from personal experience and experimentation) :
- Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic (the only vinegar allowed on the DO list) I do not mind the taste of the vinegar just mixed with water but I can understand this wouldn’t work for all folks. I have 1 – 3 (1 for maintenance, 2-3 for killing yeast but for no more than 3 days continuously) small 8 oz glasses of water with 2 tablespoons of the vinegar. I sip slowly, swish around my mouth and enjoy. If you do not like the taste you could try this lil recipe I found
- Water Water Water, as you kill off the yeast this is a majorrr body detox, give yourself water to heal and to support your system
- Cardio! Even if it’s only a brisk walk I have found cardio does wonders for my tummy and really speeds the detox process
- Oregano Essential Oil 200 mg, twice per day for my first 3 weeks of yeast attack!
- 3 heaping spoonfuls of delicious all natural yogurt after my evening meal
- Baking Soda Tonic, have in the AM start with 1 teaspoon of Soda in a small glass of water, follow with a large glass of water. Will taste very salty and not so pleasant. DO NOT TAKE THIS AND GET IN YOUR CAR/THE TUBE/ETC This tonic can trigger a quick and loose bowel movement within 3o minutes of taking but could also be up to an hour. This won’t happen every time but you’ve been warned! This is a nice daily tonic too, but go for an organic baking soda to avoid all those awful bits of aluminium in your household brand. Start with 1 teaspoon but as your system gets used to this daily routine you can add another 1/2 or whole but move up in 1/2 teaspoon increments
- Meditation, even 5 minutes in the morning can be very beneficial for mind and body
So maybe you’ve realized you have a little Candida to work on
Good for you! Knowledge is power! Get healing!
You may experience a bit of a health crisis to begin with, depending where your dis-ease is at
For me, the hardest part is dealing with coffee withdrawal and I feel that big time today
But sometimes, in healing, we feel a little bit worse, or a new kind of bad Hahaha before we get better
Now that has been Candida with Dr Rubyyy
I’m lifting a glass of Apple Cider Vinegar and water to you
Cheers to better health all round in 2011 and beyond!
Love Lust & Light
January 31, 2011 § 1 Comment
January 30, 2011 § 1 Comment
What can I sayyy?
I’m a little lost at the moment, but I’m keeping the faith and trusting in my path
These are some of the things I know for sure:
- I Am A Performer
- I Am A Writer
- I Am A Muse
- I Am An Artist
- I Am A Fiercely Loyal Friend
- I Am A Healer
- I Want To B A Part Of Healing Global Sexuality
I kinda want to go back in time, and spy on myself when I was 15
I pretty much owned the world at 15, I was the world!
I was going to be an actress, on Broadway, films on the side of course
I wanted to live and die on stage
I was going to have 14 children and no husband
My career, my craft, my creative life were everything to me
While other teenagers were partying
I was practicing singing/dance, making crafts, masturbating to Garth Brooks CDs
I was in looove with the romance of sex
Also with penetration
Specifically obsessed with the idea of virginal vaginal penetration
N my VC Andrews novels
The women quite often ‘gasped’ when ‘he moved inside her’
I would act out these moments
Practice gasping different boys names
Seeing which one sounded best
Always adding a little grimace ’cause they tell you it hurts
So even if “Nathaaan” “Jaaamie” “Williammm”hurt me I would always solider on
It was supposed to hurt
And it’s kinda the way I feel now, though I’m lighter…
I was on top of the world and on the bottom at the same time
Thannnk god I was a performer, or I don’t think I would be typing this today
All the emotion I carry in this bodyyy
Depression and suicidal thoughts plagued me too often
I once said to my Dad:
“I can’t help but imagine throwing myself under a truck when it goes by”
It was a time of so much beginning and ending
T hormones made it hell
Now I see the patterns and embrace with more positivity
And though I wasn’t so deep
It was only a few months ago when I said to myself
“No one would care if we/I/you were gone”…
So who said it?
T truth is, what I’m feeling now is a death
It is the suicide of my ego
All these last ditch attempts to keep me in the dark
A death rattle
T fear and T doubt and T anger
They are not me; I am kind and brave and honest
So, my feelings of “lost” are this…
I know what I AM
But what do I want TO B…?
What do I do with this force of nature self
With this drive to make the masses come with love & light
With the living need to perform in front of a live audience
What is my legacyyy?
How does it all come togetherrr?
I suppose I don’t need to know right now
I must trust and reconnect
With the divine and my own divinity
This is keyyy
I know I’m almost there
Now, can you please hold me & kiss my forehead?
Love Lust & Light