Mojo
February 29th, 2012 § Leave a Comment
Hellooo My Lovers
How Arrre You?
I Am Happyyy & Busy & Poorly At The Moment
A Complicated Combination
But Nothing Your Rubyyy Can’t Handle
Though Do Feel Free To Send Healing, Calming Love & Light!
I’ve Been A Bit Distant My Darling
It Has A Lot To Do With Busyness
A Lot To Do With Life-Happening-ness
And, Also, Me Deciding On My New Boundaries In Our Lovership
I Want To Share With You
I Want To Boost & Brighten You
I Want To Show You The Looove
But
I Worry Too
I Worry Because I Put So Much Out There
I Worry Because My Blog Is My Process & I Don’t Want To Have To Think About Who Is Reading What & Thinking Whatever & Feeling Such-And-Such
I Worry Because I Want You To Love Me Too
All The Second Guessing I’ve Done, Over The Last Couple Months – Don’t Say That, What If She Reads That, What He Thinks That’s Him – Has Been To Please Others
My Blog Is MY Refuge
MY Space
MY Heart
I Will Capitalize Every Fucking Word I Want To
And If You Don’t Like It
Go Somewhere Else
I Like To Use ‘T’ For ‘The’
Just Like In Charades!
And If You Don’t Like It
Go Somewhere Else
I Want To Let Go Of The Caring
Of What Others Think Of Me
And Therefore, I Will, So Haters:
Go Somewhere Else
Ohhh
My Darling, I Really Have Missed You « Read the rest of this entry »
I’m Not Afraid
December 17th, 2011 § 2 Comments
First Of All…
It’s Wonderful To Be Back
Missed You
*Snuggle*
When I returned the other day, I told you about my heart Missing In Action and it made me feel wonderful to write through, think through and feel through the situation further. So, although I have come to the conclusion, that overall – lifewise – Love Is All You Really Need, working through this situation has made me realise that, although it’s key lifewise, love is not the be all and end all in relationships.
I can say happily that I still love my troubled Flynt but from the moment I expressed to him that I felt ‘in love’ the built up, accumulated energy started to disolve; once my love was spoken and received, with thanks, it had no where else to go. We aren’t building that kind of feeling any more and although, in my heart, I believe he was, perhaps is, a little in love with me, I cannot give my heart to someone who doesn’t know how to love. I had my dreams of a future love with him that would only have been possible if we could both love each other wholeheartedly and then let each other go… As a Scorpio lady through and through, I like to start anew and I’m not afraid to say ‘no’ to love for fear that it will never return, I’m not afraid to get my heart smashed to smitherines if the love life is sweet and I’m not afraid to looove you.
I’ve been working very hard all week, working the door at a cabaret club with the crazy hours of 3 PM till 3ish AM, and the only thing that has been keeping me going is knowing that Saturday night I will come home and my Dark Horse will be there. *Big Smile* Sunday is Xmas shopping and getting my tattoo touched up! Pics to follow…
Love Lust & Light
♥
R
Rubyyy Jones
On Twitter @rubyyyjones
On Tumblr Rubyyyjones
Fridayyy Fun
October 21st, 2011 § Leave a Comment
♥
I wanted to bring you a little love on this autumnal day
So I present to you, a little ball of sweetness and sass, writer and renaissance woman Lori Smith! If you like what you read below, you can check out more of Lori’s writing on her wonderful blog Rarely Wears Lipstick and/or as the resident Relationship and Sex columnist for Bitch Buzz. Many thanksss to the lovely Lori for taking part!
The Love Game W Lori Smith
Love Lust & Light
♥
R
Rubyyy Jones
On Twitter @rubyyyjones
On Tumblr Rubyyyjones
The Letting Go
October 11th, 2011 § 1 Comment
So Loversss
It’s been one of those times again, where things are morphing and changing so fast, I’m hesitant to write them down. Want to give things, relationships, situations their space, in their unformed potential, to become what they will. I’m starting to understand how my writing effects different people close to me, and part of that understanding is still coming. I think Flynt may feel my blog, my writing ruined some of our potential, I will ask him but I don’t know what to think about that. I write from my heart and the heart changes so quickly, it’s so fluid it feels precarious to write about it now. But I am love. You know that Shirley song: Today, Tomorrow, Love Will Come And Find Me, Cause That’s The Way That I Was Born To Be, This Is Me, Thisss Is Me… Well that’s something I’ve realized on an even deeper cellular level recently, I am love. And not just me, obviously, we all are but there’s that very important power in positive self acceptance. So much of our self acceptance mottos, religions, etc emphasize accepting, owning the worst about you… But don’t forget about also accepting and owning the best! So I recognize this now, that I am love, I am loving and I am lovable.
I recently met a lovely man who has been helping me with some healing. some moving forward and some comes; lets call him… Jackson. We bumped into each other at a few parties before we finally connected and just at the right time, I was needing some wonderful intimate sex, some spiritual conversation and some tough sweetness and he is great at all three. We’re definitely lovers, it feels very intimate but it’s still casual, light and fun; just what I need. I’ve never fucked someone who speaks to my whole body the way he does, our play before our fuck reminds me a bit of the unbridled lust of secret teenager fucking. In the car or your parents living room, charged, ravenous, aggressive; it’s like that without the frantic fumbling, it’s absolutely delicious. I’m also happy to be loving with someone sweet as I’m feeling overwhelmed by my new orgasms, just a little and after sex of whatever kind, I feel very vulnerable…and dehydrated. After the fuck we lie together stroking and talking for hours, perhaps a few more orgasms for me, but mostly we connect more sensually, also just what I need.
So I’ve been making space in my heart, in my cunt, in my life for Jackson and, with true openness, to others and it’s been a little tough. When making space and connecting ties with new people, experiences, there tends to be a letting go, an untying of previous attachments to feelings, people, habits and it’s been painful for me to let go of some of my remaining romantic threads with Flynt. Bittersweet, I guess. I want to, which makes it easier, but with that letting go there seems to be a breaking down of the illusion, of what we had and some of the experiences we shared, not necessarily a sad thing, definitely an important emotional inventory. And though I believe we will always connect as lovers, know each other that way, something has to give a little for me to have space to grow new loves. And don’t get me wrong, the love I had for and shared with Flynt was incredible and one of the truest experiences I’ve had of love but it’s just easier to see the smoke from the trees from a distance. Hindsight is twenty twenty. Blah blah blah.
Although I’ve enjoyed for many years now, the pleasures of a non-monogamous lifestyle and I’ve learned and grown a lot because of my letting go to ego attachments around owning someone or being in love or needing someone to complete me. So knowing what I know simply from my own experiences, I know my heart feels like it has shifted gears, after the years of growing, experimenting, saving Rubyyy Jones, I need a person. A person. My person. My heart home base. I’m going to keep seeing Jackson, stay open to others but I know that my heart is sending out a beacon for this adventure. I care for Jackson and I feel love for him as a fellow adventurer, as a friend who fucks me into new heights and as an awake ally; I am open to it being him, to it not and I know he’s open to just about everything. He is teaching me a lot about letting go in many waysss.
Thanks for being my person lovers…
Love Lust & Light
♥
R
Rubyyy Jones
On Twitter @rubyyyjones
On Tumblr Rubyyyjones
With A Heart As Big As Texas…
October 7th, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Heya Loversss
Welcome To Fridayyy /// Hope You’ve Had A Lovely Week!
I’m welcoming the weekend with a little love and light brought by Gemma Waterson. A writer, librarian and sweetheart, you can find her writing on Uppercase F and as a contributor for the wonderful For Books Sake…
. . .
The Love Game W Gemma
1) What Do You Love Most About Yourself?
That’s a difficult question to answer! I suppose I like that I give everything to the people I care about. I don’t really tend to hold back in relationships. And that I’ve managed to land on my feet and take care of myself through difficult times.
2) What Did You Love Most About Your Last, Not Latest, Lover
His sense of urgency, which was a bit of a double edged sword to be honest.
3) What’s T First Song That Comes To Your Head When I Say… Love Song!
The first one that comes to my head is I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston, but I hate that song! I don’t know why that popped in there. If I was to choose my favourite love song, it would be quite a different answer- that would be Willie Nelson’s I’d Have to Be Crazy, or Bob Dylan’s Lay Lady Lay.
4) What Colour Is Your Light?
I think it’s probably pink, even though it’s not really a colour I’m drawn to.
5) What Lights You Up, No Matter What?
A kiss on the forehead and a cuddle. A phone call at the perfect moment.
6) How Do You Bring Light To T World?
I try to encourage the people I believe in as much as possible. And also I think working with books is giving something back to the world. If I help someone read a book that changes their lives, that’s significant. It’s why I do what I do!
7) 3 Words To Describe T Way You Love
Fully, dotingly, and with a sense of humour.
8 ) Which Symbol Represents Love For You?
A big fat delicious white cake with lots of frosting, and sugared candy.
9) What Word Do You Use For Light?
Joy.
10) Write Your Own Version… “All You Need Is ____”
…someone to take care of you when you’re sick.
. . .
Love
My definition of love has changed a lot over the years, as it should really. When I was a young teenager, love was putting a poster up on my wall and idolizing it. Love was buying all the stuff with his face on it. Love was just lust, but I didn’t really understand that.
When I got into my mid teens, love became this all encompassing thing, and was mostly directed at people that didn’t (and could never!) know the first thing about my feelings. But it was such an overwhelming feeling that I couldn’t think about anything else. It was training wheels for actual love.
Then came my late teens, and my first actual love. At that time, love was putting into practice all those years of LOVING SOMEONE SO MUCH but having it reciprocated. It’s intense, and often has very little to do with practicalities, compatibility, or- even just a little bit- the person you’re in love with.
In my mid twenties I experienced losing love, and that put the whole thing quickly into perspective.
Now I can’t say that I know everything there is to know about love, but I do feel that I understand how to love within a proper, healthy, and grown up relationship. I’m not just in love with the idea of love anymore, which is what I’ve spent the majority of my life doing. Now I’m in love with a person- the actual person- and it’s so much more fulfilling. Instead of trying to enrich someone else’s life and make them happy, I realize that love is something that should enrich your own life. And love should inevitably make you happy.
. . .
Gemma is living in London, by way of Texas and Scotland. She spends her working life up to her elbow in books, scanning and digitising old science books at the Natural History Museum. She spend her personal life up to her elbows in everything else that comes with living in a city like London.
Sending You Love & Light Sweet One!
Love Lust & Light
♥
R
Rubyyy Jones
On Twitter @rubyyyjones
On Tumblr Rubyyyjones





