March 7, 2012 § 8 Comments
Hoping you’re lovely and enjoying the vibrant Full Moon energyyy!
It has definitely been a volatile year and I’ve had a few things happen over the last few weeks that have made it hard for me to stay positive and focused.
Nobody said it was easy!
Even for superlovers like us *wink*
It has been good for me to have these wobbly moments because I’d rather know where the weaker spots are in my self and in my self esteem so I can address, understand and nurture them. When we have these little or big breakdowns in our life, they’re normally followed by equal or greater levels of ‘Ah haaa!’ and break through – so worth it! My goal is to make the in-between times and the breakdown times as smooth, calm and contented as possible because these moments are inevitable, natural and healthy and it’s how we deal with them, what we learn from them and where we go from there that’s important. Lots of this comes down to attitude and how we manage our emotions as they arise, here a few practical tips from me…
9 Ways To Stay In The Light…
Piece By The Incredible Sharlena Wood
1. Breathe… I cannot tell you the number of times a little fit or a little slump has been avoided by taking 6 minutes to sit on a lovely cushion and to find my breath again.
Here’s a little routine I do:
Find Your Breath: Find a comfy position to sit in. I like to sit on a cushion and for those with tight knees or hips, just add an extra cushion right under your butt for some lift! You can sit in a chair too, whateverrr, now just notice where your breath is sitting, don’t try and change anything at first. Is your inhale high in your chest? Where are you shoulders? Is your tummy involved? Close your eyes for better focus or light a candle so your eyes are entertained.
Loosen Up: Keep focus on your breath but allow and coax your body to move and wiggle in whatever way feels right. If you feel a bit stuck for where to begin, I suggest a light shake of the shoulders, a kinda Burlesque boob shimmy but keep your back tall. Maybe your body will want you to rock back and forth catatonic style or for you to scrunch your face – just listen and do and don’t judge whatever comes up. « Read the rest of this entry »
March 1, 2012 § 2 Comments
There Are So Many Things To Love About This Looovely Season
Green & Buds & Flesh Appearing Again
I’d Looove To Wear This To A Little Picnic
Drink Gin & Elderflower Out Of Teacups On A Faux Polar Bear Rug
Munchhh On Massive Bowls Of Cherries & Strawberries & Melon
I Want To Stroll In Nature
Watch & Smell & Hear It Coming To Life All Around Me
And Perhaps Enjoy A Trip Within Mother Nature’s Arms
I’d Looove To Wear This For Dinner Under The Stars In The Country
Tuck Into A Crunchy Salad With Some Full Bodied Rosé
A Fire Crackling Beside Us, Cutting The Chill Still In The Air
I Want To Take The Eurostar To Paris
And Bump Into This Lady At 10 AM
On My Way Home From Spinning Around Some Glorious Grimy Cabaret Club
I Want To Wear These Jewels
And Only These Jewels
For A Sunday, Shivery Brunch Of Eggs Benedict, Jalapeno & Chorizo Hash &Mimosa
But Most Of All…
I Want To Breathe In The Fresh New Air
I Want To Soak Up The Maturing Sun
I Want To Feel The Wind On My Skin
I Want To Make New 2012 Wishes
I Want To Hug Dear Friends Coming Out Of Hibernation
I Want To Stand In The Grass Bare Foot
Many Thanksss To The Original TILT Lady GALA DARLING
Love Lust & Light
On Twitter @rubyyyjones
December 16, 2011 § 2 Comments
I Need A Little Blog Cheering Up Today
And Nothing Cheers Me Up More Than Beautiful Objects
. . .
Beautiful Holiday Thingsss
This Makes Me Smile
Love Lust & Light
November 23, 2011 § 1 Comment
I met Susan Quilliam when she was guest speaker at the awesome Fannying Around; she was there to talk fannies and her new publication, the reinvigorated classic The New Joy Of Sex. I was so inspired by her talk and warmed by her grounded sweetness, it’s no wonder that Susan has spent the last twenty or so years working as an agony aunt in various publications and through her radio programme ‘Sex In The City’; I would tell her anything and everything! Starting her career in psychology and soon moving to the psychology of love and sex, Susan is an expert in relationships, sexuality and body language.
Enough from me, let’s hear from the Superhero herself…
Many thanks to Susan for taking the time to share with us!
. . .
When Did You Realize Sex Was Your Calling, Why Did You Make The Move From Psychology Into The Psychology Of Sex And Relationships?
I guess the realisation that ‘sex was my calling’ came in several stages, but probably started at birth! I certainly was very sensuous as a child, very open to and untroubled by my own sexuality. My family was religious, but my mother was an incredibly wise woman who taught me from a very early age that sex was a Good Thing; I remember when I was just starting secondary school asking her what it was like to make love and she gave me a very detailed and honest account.
As I grew up and started studying psychology at Uni, I realised that what really fascinated me were human relationships – in fact, not only intimate partnerships but work partnerships too, though that’s less relevant to this blog. I loved everything about the connection between two people, experiencing it for myself but also seeing it at a distance through my friends’ experiences and of course reading, going to the theatre, watching films; I remember reading Madame Bovary and being absolutely enthralled at the way she chose passion over convention – and then being absolutely appalled at the tragedy that followed that choice.
The big shift came, however, when I started writing about love and sex and then started making a living from that. My first published book was called Love Strategies, and described how successful couples made their partnerships work; I interviewed all my friends. they recommended me to other interviewees and the book simply grew from there. I realised that I loved not only exploring the intricacies of relationship but passing on my explorations to others.
It was at that point that I began working in all kinds of linked fields, from being an advice columnist, through writing for an academic journal. to delivering lectures and training courses on sexuality and relationships. Which brings us to now…
What Was Your First Professional Writing Gig, Involving Or About Sex?
I’m going to cheat and mention two projects.
A few years after writing Love Strategies, I was approached to write Sexual Body Talk. a book about the body language of intimac; it was a wonderful book to do because I not only wrote the words but also specified, commissioned and directed the illustrations. The book covered everything from first glance, through lovemaking, to using body language to build a relationship.
Around about that time, I had a positive smear result and had to have treatment for early cervical cancer. As a result of that, I became interested in the impact that illness – particularly illness of one’s ‘private parts’ – can have on one’s intimate life; as one doctor said to me, “When a woman has a positive smear, she needs to face up to issues around her sexuality… her fertility… her mortality.” I found that there was no book that helped women through the emotional impact of sexual illness and so wrote ‘Positive Smear’ a book supporting women in that situation.
In 3 Words, Describe Your ‘Agony Aunt’ Style
Only three words? Outspoken… Honest… Caring.
Please Share One Of Your Favourite Moments From Your Radio Programme ‘Sex In The City’…
‘Sex in the City’, which ran for two years every Friday night on LBC, was the most fantastic programme to be involved with. Jim Davis my co-presenter and I felt it a privilege each week to spend two hours getting calls not only from London but worldwide, from people who had sex and relationship problems.
To pinpoint my ‘favourite’ moment is really difficult – first because there were so many amazing calls, amazing stories, amazing resolutions, and second because much of it was extremely painful and challenging and so ‘favourite’ can seem an inappropriate adjective. I remember the man who rang us just before midnight to say that he was leaving his wife the following morning – he was packed and ready to go – but had not yet broken the news to his children. Jim and I yelled in unison: “Slow down… don’t go without telling them..”.
There were, however, many rewarding moments. To get a call from a listener who had spent weeks wondering whether to ring and who just by picking up the phone had gained courage… to get an email from a 13-year old girl who thought she was dying until we explained that she had started her periods… to listen to a caller slowly but steadily talk through his endless infidelities until he said, spontaneously “Im going to stop that…”
. . .
Stay Tuned Lovers, as I will be bringing you Part II of my interview with Sex Superhero, Susan Quilliam, soon!
Love Lust & Light
November 18, 2011 § Leave a Comment
It’s That Time Again!
Big Thanks To The Looovely Sarah Berry Who Invited Me Along To Private Pictures
My Entry On The Evening (Private Picturesss), Below!
Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #32 ? Start with the rules, come back in January to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
A Feminist Defense of Consensual Nonconsent – How does a woman who identifies as a feminist reconcile her desire to submit to her partner during sex? Being somewhat new to kink, I had some trepidations about how submission seemingly went against my ethics.
Intimates – As the evening drew on, I felt like the sexiest woman alive. It’s strange to describe it this way, but I actually felt brimming with a sort of sexual energy. A lustiness, a sexiness, an allure and a desire all at once.
Tightest Space – I’m paying close attention to your moans, and I stop whenever it feels like it might be too much. But the incredibly tight feeling of your ass gripping my cock is so delicious that I need to get all the way in.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
An Open Letter to the Sex Toy Industry – I write this post not to just let off some steam but with the smallest glimmer of hope that maybe…….just maybe….some of these words will land on the right computer screen and be taken to heart. Maybe one change will happen.
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
International #Fisting Day!! – Beyond awareness and calling for action, I think International Fisting Day is a great day to celebrate fisting; an intimate, hugely erotic and often orgasmic act that doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
A Bit about Crushes
Are You on the Pill?
How to Approach Your Partner with a Fantasy
Meeting New People
Sex And Disability: What Does the Literature Say?
Settling – Striving For Connections in Non-Monogamy
Sex and Heart Attacks
Training my rear end
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Kink & Fetish
Love Lust & Light
November 15, 2011 § 16 Comments
Sooo a couple months ago, as a birthday gift to start and then as an experiment, I began to grow out my body hair. In the past I’ve done the shaving thing and the waxing thing and it wasn’t until I began growing my hair that I realized…
I didn’t even know what my preference was, how I wanted to be…
I shaved because, like most girls who learn from mother, media and men, I believed I should have smooth legs, underarms and follow fashion for the pubes. I was more of a shaver, as waxing is pricey and left my sensitive skin bruised around my thighs and mound, though I preferred my underarms waxed. Legs, I was never picky with them, I did love the slip of a smooth hair-free calf and boys did too. Underarms were obviously, always shaved, beautiful women did not have furry armpits and that was total dirty hippie territory.
It has been 2ish months and it’s been wonderful experimenting and discovering how I feel about my body and body hair. I let my legs grow, because I have fair hair and love the different kind of softness when I touch my skin. My pubes I’m still undecided about, as it’s a mix of loving them natural and, as I do more burlesque and am applying more merkins, tape and/or glue, hating them! As you can imagine!
As you know, I’m a bit showgirl meets s***disturber and I love the ultra feminine blend of sequin dresses, glittering jewels and a full armpit of hair. I enjoy the effect it has on people and how and what it makes them think; about glamour, about feminism, about their tastes. I genuinely love the way it looks and feels.
I am happy that I took the time to experiment, to discover what I like, that I have the freedom in myself to do so. What I like most about this little journey is, that now I feel liberated from a single way of being I know I can always change my style and I’ll be doing it for me. It was nice to break my attachments to certain standards of beauty, femininity and perception by others so I can be one step closer to a totally free me!
Would love to know your thoughts! Leave me a comment about your fur rituals!
Love Lust & Light
November 9, 2011 § 2 Comments
I’m Not Interested
In Sleazy Love
I Want It Deep
Bright In The Sky
I’ll Take All Your Baggage
Move Your Luggage Up The Stairs
Sandbags Of Sadness, All Your Cares
Nothing Too Heavy
Tumble Out Of Mouths
Sprinkle Over Eggs
On My Pillows
Under My Skin
Of Our Easy
After Months Of Cold Love
Of Almost Love
Of Sad Love
Give Me Your
Thanks For Your
I Love Your
Click The Pic For All The #Move Entries
And For All The Wanton Ones, Thanks To Molly For Taking It On This Week! xxx
Love Lust & Light
November 8, 2011 § 16 Comments
Hoping you are reading this feeling grounded, feeling joyful, feeling thankful!
I am feeling, as I write this, a bit nervous and grateful, to be sharing a chapter of my life with you; in a way I feel that this is a story that is still being written, that may remain a footnote for the rest of my life. When we suffer with, from and for a dis-ease that shows up on our skin, manifests in a cough or scratchy throat, it’s hard to hide our afflictions, and maybe we don’t want to – cuddles are the best cure for the common cold! When we suffer from mental illness, it’s our secret dis-ease for a while, or forever, and becomes a dear companion, the only one who understands; this is my tale of bulimia and me.
I began sticking my fingers down my throat late in my teens but my body war began long before. We moved from the quiet town where I grew up to a big city, right at the time when my parent’s dysfunctional marriage really hit its peak; I was nine and I began to turn to food for comfort. The move was very hard for me and I was bullied at my new school, kids called me a ‘rich bitch’ (we lived in a big house, we were not poor but we were not rich) and I was mocked relentlessly for my strange eyes, often wordlessly across the room I’d see them pulling at the corners of their faces to mimic my almond slant. I stopped speaking up in class, I didn’t join any clubs and I didn’t have many friends; I’d spend most of my time alone after school or dance class, listening to and watching musicals, dreaming of when I would grow up and be the beautiful movie star I wanted to be. I wasn’t totally unhappy in my singing and dancing world but I was lonely sometimes and self-doubt began to build a little fort inside my mind.
Almost every morning while my Dad was in the shower, I would sneak into his room, slip my hand into yesterday’s trousers and steal some money for my ritual. It began to be my favorite part of the day when I could have a sweet reassuring binge before heading into the hostile, scary place that was school. I found salvation in all the foods my Mom would never buy, in the puckering sour of penny candies, in the creamy filling of pastries and the oily comfort of potato chips. Soon my average frame met puberty, and these daily caloric overloads, and my little body ballooned so they could add ‘fat bitch’ to their arsenal of insults. After two years of almost constant tumult we moved back to our same small town and my eating disorder moved with us, I was eleven.
As a girl and a preteen I was precocious, clever, beautiful, creative, I could sing, dance, play sports, write essays, do math, you name it, but with the help of my new friend I realized there was one thing I would never be: thin. I loved spending my allowance or babysitting cash on People, Vogue and Vanity Fair magazine, I was into everything Hollywood, old and new and I wanted nothing more than to one day be in the pages of those zines. I covered one door in my bedroom with those milk ads, so many perfect glossy bodies and faces, all milk mustachioed, smiling at me as I stared into a full-length mirror loathing myself. My tummy was always what I hated the most and I punished myself as I saw fit, grabbing handfuls of flesh I would squeeze and twist myself until I broke down, sometimes punching myself as hard as I could in the stomach, never as hard as I wanted to; I know now I wanted to feel pain physically to match the pain I felt so intensely in my heart. It was at this time that my parents got divorced and my first round of depression really set in. So as I was adjusting to my changing body, high school, parents divorce, I was making more space in my self for my depression, my eating disorder and thoughts of suicide, I was thirteen, fourteen. It was a hard time for Rubyyy Jones. « Read the rest of this entry »
October 29, 2011 § Leave a Comment
October 27, 2011 § Leave a Comment
Sooo Many Things To Looove
Right Now For Me, It’s All About The Hands Dahling!
There Are Lots Of Ways We Can Bring Attention To Our Lovely Appendages And Their Many Parts: Rings, Nail Polish/Art, Tattoos..
A Few Weeks Ago I Attended The Opening Of A Little Lingerie Shop, Which Is Always Fun And I Was Happy To Sit Down With The Lovely Madam Of Boom Nails, Custom Cute Nail Art… Here’s What I Got Done
Bit Glare-y / Soryyy… But Yesss, Of Courrrse
I Got Hearts!
Black On My Fingers, Silver On My Thumbs
You Can Find Out More About Her Here
And That’s My New Favorite Ring!
Here In Grey…
Pampering My Nails & Showing Off My Fingers (Which I Used To Hate!) Has Been Really Fun For Me Lately And Helps Me Feel Special And Glamorous With The Littlest Touch. I Know That Ring’s Not So Little But, It Only Takes A Second To Put On And It Makes A Big Statement.
This Is A Leopard Print Nail Tutorial From Cute Polish On YouTube, She Has Some Ammmazing Design Videos And Also Great Tip Vids, Like How To Make Your Own Specialty Painting Tools Which Is Helpful For Those More Intricate Designs…
Hands Are One Of Our Strongest Energy Points And Working Gently With Our Hands We Can Access A Lot Of Power And Healing, For Ourselves And Others. I Love This Little Flip Book Mudra Vid And Here’s The Wiki Mudra Entry If You Want To Learn A Little More..
I Looove Rings And Recently Picked Up This Gem At My Local Charity Shop…
These Are The Three Rings I’m Lusting After At The Moment…
Butler And Wilson – Entwined Hearts
The Great Frog – Gold Leopard Print Ring W Citrine
Topshop – Love Word Ring
Love Lust & Light